


The Journey Home

by ILoveMisha2



Series: The end [21]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Falling Castiel, M/M, The Apocalypse, The End, pre endverse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-14 02:46:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5726857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILoveMisha2/pseuds/ILoveMisha2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean struggle through pre Endverse days along with their relationship and ways to Kill Lucifer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This may be multi chapter, my first multi chapter fic if I finish this so fingers crossed!!.
> 
> Tags and characters will be added as I add chapters and the rating may change as well depending on what's written also the summary will become better as the story grows.
> 
> Please keep in mind that this is a heavy work in progress and it will be choppy and not put together well at first but I will try to make it as good as possible for the time being.

Silence.

That's all Cas heard. It was dark and cold and maybe the shadows of the night were very unforgiving but he stayed quiet.

Cas looked up at the slow burning candles he had that had been melting down the side of the dresser for days.

Those candles illuminated skin and breath and agonizing stares but above all it illuminated the silence.

"Dea-" cas started, trying to calm the silence raging in the room.

"Shut it, I don't wanna hear your voice"

Cas shut up and turned to face the door of there apartment, away from dean on the bed with him, an abyss of violent space between them.

Cas closed his eyes and listened to the quiet, the silence that creaked in the dry wall of the apartment they were staying in, that strangled itself through the bed frame, that thrummed in Dean's bones. The silence was killing him. It was too quiet.

Even Dean's words moments ago were laced with a hard silence that was troubling. 

Cas wanted to turn over, to rest a hand on Dean's shoulder, to touch and feel but he was afraid he'd be met only with the angry quiet that laid within Dean.

This was it. This was the breaking point of Dean and that scared Cas. It scared him because he didn't know what that meant for them or where they would go from here or who they would become.

This was it and this was silence and cas had a feeling he'd be shaking hands with this silence more often than not in the future.

He felt Dean turn on his back, his fingers barely brushing the skin of cas' lower back and he listened to him breath.

Cas pulled the blankets over himself more and watched the shadows hit the wall, waiting for anything to happen, maybe even a random Croat to bust through the door.

There was nothing but silence, even Dean's breathing was barely audible. Cas knew he couldn't take it anymore, the quiet was messing with his thoughts so he threw the blankets off himself and got up in one swift motion.

Dean merely looked over in light curiosity but not enough to say anything about it. He closed his eyes trying to get control of his spiraling thoughts of what was to come now that push had come to shove.

Cas started to pace in the dark room but soon found his way to the window, watching the streets for signs of trouble. At least no one was screaming for help even though it was too late this time.

"Dean?"

Dean stirred on the bed, awake but still with that silence in his voice.

"What do you want?"

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

Dean was sitting up now, sheets falling away from his body as he sat up straighter rubbing his eyes to adjust to the barely lit room. Castiel was still looking out the window making shapes with his breath and finger on the thin glass.

"We need to talk about what happened to Sam."

Dean went rigid, Cas could feel it in the air and so he stopped making shapes and closed his eyes, head against the glass.

"Not tonight."

"Dean, what happened wasn't your fault. His choice was made and nothing we said could've changed his mind. He thought, he thought it would work, that it would save you."

"It doesn't matter. I didn't need saving and I told him we would find another way, we always do."

Castiel remembered it with clarity, remembered Sam's pained expression when he told Cas he didn't want Dean to carry all this weight of killing Lucifer on his shoulders and how he could do something about it if given the chance swearing up and down that it would work. Castiel had agreed to keep their conversation between them no matter how much he was against it. The look on Sam's face stopped him from even questioning the matter.

"We can fix this."

"No we can't. My brother is gone. The fact that he told you and not me, his own blood about his stupid plan and then you didn't even try to tell me . . . I don't get it. How could he have thought that what he did could fucking fix the world."

Castiel couldn't believe what he had heard. 'My brother is gone.' There was such a finality to what Dean had said, something had changed so suddenly. Dean would fight for his brother, fight every last being on this earth if it meant his brother was safe, at least the Dean Cas knew him to be. This was different and this was scary.

"Don't say that, don't you dare say that. We'll get him back, we can do this, we just have to fight like we've never fought before, I know you want to get him back. . I was going to tell you about his plan, I was but he made me promise not to."

"Listen to me, he's fucking gone, okay? We- we can't save him. It's been 6 months and this world is going to shit fast."

Castiel turned to look at him quizzically, the sun was beginning to rise so he could see Dean clearly now. He could see the hard set of his jaw and the hard expression he had in place. Something in fact had changed.

Castiel had watched it happen, slowly but it was there in the way that Dean spoke to the way that he walked, even in the way they fucked. Dean's hands were harsher, gripping tighter. His hips moved without mercy, his eyes held little of the love they were once full of. It bothered Castiel more than it should've because he knew change was inevitable and he knew his relationship with Dean couldn't last after what happened to Sam.

"So you're just going to give up? If the situation were reversed you know that Sam would do everything he could to get you back."

"I'm not giving up, Cas, I'm just, he's fucking gone okay and there isn't shit I can do about it. The only way I can help him now . . . the only way I can help him is to . . . . is to kill him."

"What, no, this isn't you talking."

 

"The hell it isn't. I'm being logical, just drop it okay, it's not like you were willing to stop him 6 months ago and help him when he told you of that stupid plan of saying yes to the devil."

"So you're blaming me. I'm always here to help you, I've done nothing but be the best I could be for you."

"What if I am. I'm sure I could've talked sense into him if I was just given the chance to, if you would've told me."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Dean laughed humorlessly and wiped his hand down his face, looking away from Castiel who was still by the window with watery eyes.

"Well it's not worth anything. It doesn't even matter, what's done is done."

What's done is done. Castiel didn't know what to say. There was nothing he could say that would change things. Him not telling Dean had left its mark and it was stuck. Castiel was afraid that every time Dean looked at him all he would see was that moment when he found out Cas had known. He was afraid he'd always feel this coldness from him. 

On top of that castiel had a problem and he shifted his body weight slightly. He could still feel it, his grace, it was still coursing through his vessel but it was smaller and moving slower. It was diminishing. He didn't know how to broach the subject but he needed to break the news before it was too late and became another mark against him to Dean.

He didn't know how long it would last or if he would cease to exist when it did, all he knew was that he was scared. He had been human before of course but not in situations like this and not indefinitely with so much danger around.  
Who was he without his grace, what could he offer without his grace. He didn't know and he didn't want to find out. He didn't want to fall. 

He knew why he was falling, or at least he thought he did. He chalked up to the fact that he had chosen Dean over heaven once again. 

"I'm falling." Castiel blurted out.

Dean's head snapped around in Castiel's direction, shock and disbelief on his face. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out.

"I'm falling and I've been falling for 6 months."

"Are you sure? 6 months, you mean since the day Sam said yes?"

"Yes I am and yes. I knew as soon as I felt the pull of it in my chest."

"Cas, I -"

"I feel like I'm dying."

"Listen to me Cas, you're not dying, I promise you. This is just a set back."

Dean didn't know what to say. His anger was gone in a flash as soon as Castiel broke that news. It was like it was punched straight out of his gut and left him breathless.

It still mattered that Castiel had known about Sam and didn't tell him but for this moment it was in the background that would most likely resurface in the future days, months, and maybe even years to come. But this was Cas and he was falling and Dean wasn't a monster, he was the guy Cas trusted in every way possible. He was the only one Cas had and he Cas. They mattered to each other.

"This isn't just a setback Dean, I'm, you think I'm just a setback? I could be dying, I don't know if my grace will just leave or rip out of me or take me with it."

"Okay, okay, calm down please? That came out wrong . . . come here?"

Dean scooted over and pulled the sheets back for Cas. Castiel stood for a moment but then walked forward and got into bed next to Dean. He hasn't realized he was cold until Dean's warm arms wrapped around him comfortingly. 

"What I meant was that it's going to be okay eventually, it's just something that we have to take a day at a time. You're not a set back, you're my best friend and my . . . my everything now."

Castiel wanted to cry but he also wanted to scream. He wanted to unhear Dean's last sentence. He was his everything now meant that he had totally dismissed Sam, he was telling himself to dismiss Sam. He was already pushing him away. Castiel knew it was the way Dean coped with the situation, knew that not having Sam here was really hurting him but he kept his mouth shut.

"I'm scared."

"It'll be okay, you'll see, maybe the transition will be as easy as breathing."

"I'm not just scared about my grace. I feel change. I'm changing, you're changing. What if I become someone terrible."

"You won't. Not you. You won't ever change. Neither will I."

"You don't know that for sure. You're just saying that. Don't just say that. I can feel it."

"Well it doesn't matter, we have a world to try and save."

"We can't do it, not just us."

"We have chuck and Risa and a few others. We'll need to find a camp, or make one. We can't keep going from building to building, its not safe. We need a safe place."

"I'm not very fond of Risa. I don't know, I don't know."

Dean sighed and closed his eyes, forehead against Cas'.

"Just try and sleep okay, we have a lot to do in the morning."

"Sure."

Castiel scooted away and rolled over on to his side away from Dean. He was still scared and helpless and the silence was screaming at him now, angry and venomous.

He decided to pray, for the first time in what was probably forever, to his father. He prayed with false hope that his father was out there listening. 

They both fell asleep uneasily that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am doing this a bit differently during different chapters in which these will switch povs sometimes and writing style considering I will get a flash of inspiration and can only get my writing across in certain ways at the time.

It was morning, Dean could tell my the glare of the sun through the window hitting his eyes. He threw a hand up in annoyance to block the sun and laid his other arm out across the bed. Cas was gone.

It hadn't taken too long for Dean to gather up the courage to tell Cas how he felt about him. He had done it about four months before Sam had said yes. Things were different then but it still worried Dean when Cas wasn't there when he woke up in the morning.

Of course Dean was still angry and wouldn't let go of the fact that Cas had known about Sam's plan but Cas was still the only one he had left. He needed him.

“Cas!?” Dean mildly yelled.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed sitting up and scratched the back of his head, still a bit groggy. He didn't recall much of what had happened that night except for Cas being very emotional about his grace and he himself being a complete asshole.

Cas didn't answer so Dean got up and dressed hurriedly, tripping over his boots in the process.

They had things to do today and Cas being awol wasn't one of them.

He reached for the doorknob and opened the door. If he was being honest with himself he was a little pissed. Castiel knew now wasn't a time to just go missing and not say where he was going to be.

As soon as he walked into the hall of the hotel they were squatting in he saw Cas and Chuck talking in the hallway. Castiel was all smiles and laughter, he was nothing of what he was that night. Dean was beyond furious.

“What the hell, cas!” 

Castiel looked up as soon as he heard Dean's voice and his smile fell. Chuck fell silent as well, holding his clipboard tight to himself.

“What is it Dean?”

“What is it? What is it! You were gone, I didn't know where you were, you didn't even try to wake me to tell me.”

“Dean, you need your sleep and I've been gone for all of ten minutes. I thought you needed your space anyway and besides, Chuck needed help with his list of things we need.”

Dean didn't care to give Cas a response and turned to Chuck. Castiel rolled his eyes and made his way back to their room.

“What do we need Chuck?”

“Um, we're terribly low on food, toilet paper. . .”

Dean wiped his hand down his face and braced himself against the wall and looked back up at Chuck who was still holding onto his clipboard for dear life.

“I'll go on a run today but we can't stay here too much longer, we'll have to leave soon.’

“A run by yourself? And how much longer to we have here, just so everyone will be prepared?”

“Cas will come along. We'll be fine. And I'd say another week and we are out of here. That's the maximum time we have, sorry Chuck.”

“It's alright, we trust you, if we have to leave then we have to leave. You know best.”

Chuck smiled halfheartedly and handed Dean a piece of paper from his clipboard then rushed off. Chuck was always busy, even when there was nothing to be busy about. 

Castiel was changing his clothes when Dean came in the room. Dean just gave him a glance passing by and peeped out the window to check the conditions. Things were fine, holding up. Things hadn't completely fallen yet, it had only been 6 months, there were few things to look out for but there were more Croats by the day, places fenced off and quarantined. America was just too stupid to get with the program every other hunter had been down with since the beginning.

“Hey, Dean, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving the room, alright.”

“Don't be, I over reacted, you were just down the hall for god's sake. Listen, we need to go on a run today.”

“For what?”

Dean looked down at the list and shrugged.

“Food, toilet paper, which means a lot of jerky sticks and paper towels if the stores toilet paper is gone.”

“Well, I'm in. We should probably pick up any type of meds we can just in case.” 

 

Dean shrugged again, stuffing the list into his pocket and grabbing his gun off the table.

“How far away is the store?”

“I'd say about a few blocks, there might be people out today, find a few stragglers.”

“That doesn't mean we want to bring them back right? I mean the world hasn't stopped turning yet, people probably still have places they want to be.”

“We'll bring them back if they need a safe place and are willing to do their part here. Remember if we run into stationed military then we duck for cover and when the coast is clear we run.”

“I know, I've heard this safety speech before.”

“I'm serious, they shoot first, ask questions later.”

“Not all of them, remember that one, what was his name? Caleb?”

Dean leaned against the wall, arms folded, he was ready to leave and get the run done as fast as he could so people wouldn't panic.

“It was Connor, and he was stupid to do what he did for us. We could've gotten him killed.”

“He could've killed us just as easily but he didn't.”

“enough about this nobody, he's probably dead now anyway or wishing he was, we need to get going while the sun is still up.”

They left a few minutes after Dean debriefed Cas once more on their safety procedures. The necessary few blocks they had found a large store. One of the glass windows had already been broken.

Dean swept around the building giving it a once over and finding various exits to take just in case things went south. When they made it back to the front of the store Cas jingled the bell on the store's door, waiting to see if anything would pop out.

Nothing did. Dean slowly opened the door, gun ready while Castiel held his flashlight up, illuminating the inside of the place. 

“We're gonna check each isle, okay,” Dean whispered, turning slightly to Cas. “Let's split up and meet in the middle, if you have any issue just call out to me, okay? You call out to me if you're in danger.”

Castiel ran his fingers around the shape of Dean's ear to let him know he understood without having to speak. Dean looked straight ahead and started walking in further, Castiel right behind him.

The place wasn't run down, just cold and smelled of a badly leaky roof, a few shelves were knocked over and Dean could just imagine the various scenes of how that could've happened. Croats.

Dean turned around, Cas was already turning around the first corner of the shelf, gun and flashlight in his hands. Dean still worried about him. He always worried about him.

 

Dean checked all his isle's even the back without a hitch, found the toilet paper even and hadn't heard a peep from Cas. He walked quietly over to Cas’ side, checking the rest that Can hadn't.

He peered around the corner and saw Castiel. He was in the pharmacy part of the store, hands fumbling over bottles, letting bottles drop in his hurry.

“Cas?” 

Cas whipped around, knocking off a whole row of prescription bottles, startled.

“Oh, Dean, hey, I was just browsing around for things we need.”

Dean walked forward and grabbed the bottle out of Cas’ hand, shining his light on the label.

“So you think we need,, Adarrall?

Cas didn't speak back, just shrugged and grabbed the bottle from Dean and shoved it in his pocket. Dean stared at him, cas didn't need that, there was no way he needed that.

“So you're just not going to tell me the truth? Gonna keep more secrets from me?”

Castiel stopped searching through the meds and looked at Dean, a pained expression on his face. 

“I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Sam, okay, I truly am,” cas said, putting a hand on Dean's shoulder.

“Don't tell me you're sorry, quit doing that!”

Castiel dropped his hand and stepped back, peering at Dean.

“What do you want me to say then that can fix what I did because I can see you're not over it yet.”

“Nothing. I'll never forgive you for that! That's not even what I was talking to you about, you brought it up so why don't you just drop it now! I'm standing here, asking you to stop lying to me!”

They were just standing there, castiel wasn't offering anything and Dean wasn't backing off. Castiel dug his hand into his pocket, lifted up the pill bottle to Dean and threw it across the pharmacy then angrily grabbed his backpack off the counter and walked out.

Dean went over and bent down to pick up the bottle, reading it once more just for next time then he proceeded to go through the ones they'd actually need and packed them away. Cas was stressing him out and he was struggling with being okay with Cas and that whole Sam thing. He knew he need to let it go but he didn't know when or if he could.

Dean found Cas outside the store, his backpack so full of food it could barely zip. He paid Dean no attention and picked up the duffel that probably had food in it too and started walking, Dean behind him.

The walk back to the hotel was silent, just the sound of their feet hitting the gravel. Dean tried a few time to get Cas’ attention but he dutifully ignored each one. 

They were almost back when Dean had had enough and decided to force Cas to stop and look at him.

“What the hell, Cas.”

“We don't have time for this. You've said everything you've needed to say to me and i heard it loud and clear.”

“We're not done here.”

“We are.” Cas said, walking past Dean.

“I just want you to tell me the truth!”

Castiel whipped around, dropping his bag.

“You want me to tell you the truth? That's what you want from me because you never get that from me do you? Like you never get my constant apologies?”

Dean’s gaze hardened as he clenched his teeth together, not opening his mouth to speak yet. Castiel stared back just as deadly.

“Let's get back.”


	3. 3 months later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda just fastforwarding a bit for right now, may do chapters that lead up to this moment, not sure yet. Life has been crazy, sorry for taking forever to update,

"I think it makes me feel good." Castiel said.  
He was splayed on the grass under a big oak tree, Dean leaning against his impala, cigarette to his lips. Dean let out a gust of smoke from his nose and looked away uninterested.

" well it shouldn't. I'm telling you, Cas, you're not right about this."

Castiel smiled up at the sky, watching the clouds move lazily, running his fingers through the grass and appreciating how nice the day was. It almost made him forget the mess they were in.

" it's recreational."

Dean snorted and flicked his cigarette to the dirt then smashed it with his boot, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"It's not good, im telling you."

"What makes you think you can tell me anything?"

Dean kicked at the impala's tire out of habit and shrugged. Castiel propped himself up on his elbow waiting looking at Dean.

"Because I'm your friend and i care about you and i don't think this is something you should be doing? I know you're not fully an angel right now, but you have to know drugs are bad, right? I'm just trying to look out for you."

Castiel’s smile fell as he looked down at the grass. He didn't need to be looked out for. He knew he wasn't a child 

"it'll be fine, Dean. It's not like i don't know my limits. Like i said, its recreational."

"fine."

"Fine? There's more, i can see it. Just tell me, i know you and if you don't tell me now you'll just tell me later but you'll be even more pissed about it."

Dean sighed, pushing off the impala in one swift motion. He started pacing, building himself up.

"I don't want it to change things."

"Change things?"

"You, me . . . us. Even you said before that you were scared we'd change, you told me that, Cas. This is serious, we're fighting a huge war and trust me, we can't afford to be fighting each other. I know I've said things before and done things before and all that shit about Sam . . . I'm done with it. I'm done blaming people and feeling sorry for myself because i can't do that anymore if i want to survive and i can't put all that shit on you either. I can't."

"We'll screw you because i can. I'm still pissed off and i don't think there will be a day where i won't be. I blame a hell of a lot of people for what's going on! i blame myself, i blame the angels, i blame God, i blame you, and i'm not done being upset. I'm not done getting revenge or being petty and i appreciate that you are and i know it's a big step for you but I'm not ready to take that leap so I'll be sitting here with my joint and taking things as i can. I'll be here doing what i can to keep myself feeling good while everything around me is going bad so I'll have the strength to keep on. i did say that to you about not changing, i remember, and i meant it but this isn't something that's going to change anything."

Castiel rolled onto his back and closed his eyes, trying to keep the tears in. He held his breath and grabbed onto the grass as if it would hold him down. Dean shook his head, angry, as he continued to pace.

"That's just an excuse and you know it. Boo hoo, you're feelings are hurt, you're pissed. News flash, who isn't! That doesn't mean you get to wrap yourself away and pretend that everything is ' all good' when the rest of us are busting our asses and feeling the hurt. And this, this right here is exactly what i was talking about. When would you, Castiel angel of the Lord, ever say 'i just wanna keep myself feeling okay,' huh,can you tell me? This isn't you man. That thing in your hand is changing you."

"Hey, you said we couldn't afford to fight with each other, right, so let's not? It's not a big deal and i'm not a child. It'll be okay, we'll be okay. No worries." 

Castiel smiled up at Dean in an attempt to bury things for the moment. It was a nice day and he wanted the moment to last as long as possible. The others were probably wondering where they were at and he was sure Dean was feeling that urgency to get back.

Dean looked at him, really looked at him and something twisted inside him. Heartbreak. He blinked away the feeling and turned his back, hands on his car bracing himself. He didn't want to stop arguing because he wanted Cas to promise to never pick up a joint, or whatever altering thing he had picked up before, again. At the same time he wanted to make peace and smile like everything was okay and pretend like this, sam, and the world didn't bother him or break him. Dean was struggling.

"Okay, Cas, okay." Dean said, clearing his throat.

He felt Castiel's hand slide down his arm and grab his hand but he kept his eyes closed.

"Dean? This isn't something to worry about. I love you.”

Castiel's hand was warm and soft and there, welcoming. Dean kept his hand balled into a fist, still not looking at Cas.

'I love you'. That's what Castiel had said. He meant it, or he felt that he did and Dean needed to hear it so Cas gave it.

"We, uh, we should get back. The- the others are-"

"Lets forget about the others for a few more minutes? It's just us here, just us and the sun. Let's lay in the grass together? It'll be calming, i promise."

Castiel had made his way in between Dean and the Impala, molding himself to Dean's shape, coaxing Dean back up into the open, into the sunlight. 

It worried Dean that Cas was becoming so fast and focused into getting what he wanted and finding his way to. It scared Dean that Castiel started trying to use his body to persuade him as if it was all Dean cared about. It scared him but he couldn't bring himself to confront Cas.

"You hearing me, Dean? We can lay in the grass, the grass is really soft, we could do something else there if you wanted, we could f-"

"No, no, let's just lay there, just for a little while. Then we have to get back because we have things that need to be taken care of."

"Like Risa?"

"No,Cas. I don't like her alright, it's just you."

"That's what you said the last three times i caught you with her."

"We weren't together then!"

"We separated for two days Dean, then for a few hours once"

"Let's just lay in the grass okay? Or would you rather go back?"

Castiel scowled at Dean but went dutifully to the grass and plopped down ungracefully. He used to be nothing but graceful.

"Castiel?"

"What is it, Dean?"

Dean hesitated, still by the impala, hands clenching and unclenching. Cas didn't notice.

"I love you, Cas, i love you a lot and i don't want that to be ruined. And you say that you love me and i don't want that to be ruined either."

Castiel's eyebrows knit together as he looked up at Dean, from the soft grass, the sun was blinding him but he looked none the less.

"Then don't bring up the things that could ruin it and sit with me. You're so dramatic nowadays. You’ve never actually said you loved me before, this is the first time."

So Dean didn't bring it up again. He sat with Castiel and let Cas ramble about the apocalypse and the beauty of the world but didn't bring up about how he had told Cas that he loved him. He let Cas kiss him on the cheek and play with his hair. He let Cas talk him into more time in the sun then he finally got up and started the impala. He waved Cas forward, to get in so they could leave. Castiel waived his hand in dismissal as he got up and flicked his joint to the wind.

They were heading back to camp, to face the horrors of the end.

“What are we going to tell them we were up to?” Cas asked, hand dangling out the open window of the car.

“We don't have to tell them anything.”

“We never do, do we?”

“Cas, if you're going to start something over this then I don't want to hear it.” Dean said, taking his eyes off the road to look at Castiel for a moment. Castiel was too busy looking out the window to notice Dean’s brief gaze.

“Fine, let's talk about Risa then.”

“Why does it always come back to her for you?”

“I just think it's funny how you tell me that you love me but you spend time with her. Does she fuck better or something? You still into girls?”

“Do we have to talk about this?!” Dean asked, hands gripped tight on the wheel. 

“Do you know how insecure she makes me feel? I guess it shouldn't matter, right? I can just go fuck someone else when you make me feel like shit.”

“If that's what you want to do then who the fuck am i to stop you.” Dean said angrily.

“If you answer my questions then I won't have to.”

“I've always been into girls, Cas, guys too, but you're different. That doesn't mean i want her.”

“You think she's better than me?” Castiel said, eyeing Dean sideways, a smirk on his lips.

“God, Cas.” Dean breathed out. When did Cas get so cocky. When did he start talking like this. Dean couldn't pinpoint it.

“Well.” He said, expectant.

“No. I don't.”

“She mean anything to you?” Castiel asked, scooting closer to Dean, lips up by his ear, breath hot against Dean’s face.

“No.” Dean said, jaw clenched tighter when Cas’ tongue traced his ear lightly. 

Castiel was changing quickly. He wasn't that ramrod angel Dean had met all those years ago. He wasn't even the angel who had given everything for him. 

The castiel he knew was patient, hesitant, kind. He wasn't a smart ass, he didn't slur his words; he had a filter. Things were wrong and he couldn't fix them, Cas wouldn't let him.

Dean couldn't make it back to the apartments soon enough.


End file.
